When Judah was 11 months old we kind of lost him. We had two couples over for lunch one Shabbos and four kids in the house total. While I was in the kitchen getting the next course ready, schmoozing with the ladies, I was like “Has anyone seen Judah?” Often I’ll ask that and without even looking, Craig will answer “Yeah, he’s over there.” Luckily our guests took my question a little more seriously and started scouring through each room. Our apartment was unusually warm that November afternoon and I had left the front door ajar. While the search was going on one guest finally came in holding Judah. The little guy had crawled up three flights of stairs and was found reading (destroying) a New York Times. That story ended well and the takeaway was to keep the front door closed in the future. That was probably Judah at his most mischievous, and he’s otherwise pretty mellow as far as little boys go.
And then there’s Lisi, our resident queen of mischief. Did you know she has a superpower? Nope, she can’t fly or freeze things, but she can make ANYTHING within her reach spill. It’s truly magical. Like if I hand her a drink, I’m guaranteed to step in it at some point in the next few minutes. Sometimes I’ll forget that I gave her a cup of chocolate milk until I reach under my stroller a few days later to find a thin layer of congealed stickiness. And the cabinets! OMG, the cabinets. When Annie was a baby I never bought into the whole baby-proofing thing. It boggled my mind that you could actually pay someone to come to your house and do that for you. I’d think Hey, you know what’s free? Watching your own damn kid! Karma. I’ve WATCHED her spill bags of cereal, flour, cocoa! Sometimes she’s just clumsy but sometimes she does it on purpose. Like yogurt art on the floor, pudding handprints on the walls — and believe me, I let out a sigh of relief when it turned out that the brown handprints on the walls were in fact chocolate.
You might look at these pictures and think Ha, you took a picture? Why weren’t you tending to the situation at hand? Let me tell you, for every picture I did take there are about 99 I didn’t.
You might be thinking that an easy solution here would be to simply give her cups with lids but she’s not falling for that. She likes to think she’s an adult, or maybe it’s that a lid might cramp her style. Or maybe she just knows that it’s much easier to spill things when the lid doesn’t get in the way.
And yeah, there was totally that time she used a rectal thermometer as a spoon. Totally gross but do you really think her hands are any cleaner?