You can do anything
Today will be awesome
Be like a boss
Those are some of my morning mantras. Welcome to that awky week between school and camp, often referred to as Camp Mommy. It’s a week full of last hoorahs, particularly since many of the sprinklers get turned off after Labor Day (although if I recall correctly they’ve been staying on the last few years). Soon back to school season will set in and, while this is an incredibly joyous time of year for a stay-at-home mom, I still find it bittersweet saying goodbye to the summer. Since we were away upstate for ten weeks, I really felt the pressure to squeeze everything into Camp Mommy.
Al, you’ve got this.
Lots of things have changes since we were away. Once of them being the fact that Judah and Lisi are no longer stroller dependant. I can just attach the ride-on board to our single stroller and we’re good to go. This is huge for us since it makes for easier bouncability on the steps at the subway stations. After suviving our first day back in the city — complete with a round-trip subway ride, a stop at 7/11 for slurpees, grabbing some take out food, conquering almost all of Washington Square Park, fighting off no fewer than eight ice-cream-truck requests before finally giving in — I felt ready for the next day’s activity.
Last year, if you recall, a Camp Mommy activity was a trip to the dentist. It was a disaster to say the least, but that was a year ago and we’ve all done a sufficient amount of maturing. This year, because Lisi and Baby have summer birthdays, they were both due for well visits at the pediatrician’s office.
This didn’t seem like a difficult task, since I’ve taken them to the doctor before.
We arrived five minutes before our appointment, which was about five minutes after Baby fell asleep. It didn’t seem like a big deal since our doctor tends to run late, and between all of the weigh-ins and head measuring I thought we had some extra time. Wrong. We were seen right away and after Lisi got weighed in (read: fought the measuring and refused the blood pressure cuff), they asked me to wake Gabby. I’m not a rules girl but come on, everyone knows to never wake a sleeping baby! I did and she wasn’t thrilled at first, but she got over it.
As Lisi sat on my lap for much of the visit, not cooperating but not fighting the doctor (win!), I noticed some crust around her earring. It was quite a bit. And it was oozing everywhere. Sure her earrings were fake, but she’s been wearing them for months and it hasn’t been much of an issue. I thought I would take out the back of the earring just to see what was living under there. Well, it was bad. I could tell. Since I was in the presence of a doctor and all, I thought it would be a good time to pull out the front of her earring. I figured that fast was the way to go. I plucked it out and was horrified. I don’t know if I was more grossed out by the giant hole that was left from where the earring had eroded through her flesh, kind of resembling one of those hipster lobe-gaugers — or the fact that there was still of piece of lobe-flesh stuck to the earring that was in my palm. I threw up in my mouth.
While there rest of the appointment went fine with minimal glitches, I still couldn’t unsee that strawberry earring.
So will Gabby be getting all four vaccines today?
Hell’s yeah, I’m no hippie.
Okay, and we just got in flu shots!
Annie loves shots. She actually asks for them and doesn’t flinch when she gets one; she was quite bitter the year she only got the flu mist. She also loves watching my grandma test her blood sugar and stuff. I have high hopes for her medical career.
Annie! Judah! Lisi! Come on in for your flu shots!
They all ran the opposite direction.
Annie? Come back, you’re going to get a shot!
I suggested we come back another day but our doctor reminded me that we were already in the office and I wouldn’t have to pay a copay if I got it done that day.
Guys! You’re all getting shots NOW.
We did the girls first. There was chasing, screaming and crying. Even from Annie. You know that scene from Family Guy? The one where Peter and the chicken get into that fight and it goes on for ten minutes straight and everyone is all covered in blood and disheveled? Felt kind of like that. There was so much running. And so much restraining. So much. And then it was over. Judah’s turn. He ran, and he’s fast. He made many attempts to leave the office. I was sweating and I really had to pee; heck, I was sweating so much maybe I did pee? At one point the staff thought he was lost. It turned out he had wedged himself into a tiny space by the sink. Bless my thirty pounder! Then we caught him. I restrained him with both hands very tightly and endured several spritzes of numbing spray. He got his shot and asked for a Spider-Man sticker. All was good in the world.
I went to the bathroom and remembered that Lisi had told me that she had to pee during our wild goose chase — and as a aside, I totally get that saying now! Anyway, Lisi is going through a phase where she’ll only go on a potty so, before leaving the room, we used her travel potty, the kind that uses a bag. As I turned to leave the exam room I realized that the bag she peed in had a hole and now there was pee leaking everywhere.
Oh man, lemme clean that!
NO, JUST GO!!